Next!

I was discussing how to audition with one of my students recently. She was about to sing a major audition for an opera company. We had worked long and hard on the arias she had chosen to sing and I was giving her last minute instructions.

I told her the first two rules of auditioning are:
1. Show up on time
2. Sing all the right notes.

Beyond that, everything is gravy. Yes, you must have a beautiful voice. And yes, you must sing musically and emotionally. And yes, you must be perfect. But slip up on one entrance or pitch, and you're consigned to the 'Don't call us, we'll call you' file.

Spencer Tracey is reported to have said when asked how he prepared for a scene, 'Say all the words clearly and try not to bump into the furniture'. Perfect advice for the actor or the singer.

Auditions are dreadful but necessary parts of having a career in any of the performing arts. If you allow the auditioner to choke you up, just go home and start knitting or inventing new recipes for tomato sauce.

Before you audition for anything in the performing arts you must have killed all possible snakes that could attack you in mid-performance. Otherwise, you will be eaten and swallowed whole.

I can remember people in New York City holding auditions, who after hearing four bars of some sublime aria would say, 'Thank You.'........Period!

Cattle call auditions are the worst. You barely get to utter a few bars when the person sitting in the second row of the theatre says, 'Next!'. Elaine May wrote a brilliant play with this title.

In addition to showing up on time and singing all the notes, here are some other audition suggestions:

1. Show up looking like a professional person. You don't need to deck yourself out like a Lipizzaner stallion, but get yourself together. No blue jeans or sweats. The Marlon Brando era has passed.
2. Arrive on time totally prepared to sing whatever is on your list of songs or arias. Don't ever put down a song that you 'almost know', because that is the very one they will ask for.
3. Present yourself in a happy, outgoing mode. Let them do most of the talking.
4. When you finish singing, walk away in a serious, calm manner. Save your ideas about what you just did, or didn't do, until you are having a drink with your accompanist at the nearest bar.

Fortunately, my student did all of these things just right today and walked away knowing she had done a splendid audition. We are hoping that this audition will lead to more substantial things- like contracts!

Auditions are a dreadful part of a singer's, or actor's, life until you reach the point where you don't have to audition. They just call you from the Met and ask when you are going to be available.

It happens! Trust me.